Open Your Eyes
by Meteor Blade
Summary: "You don't need to feel pain anymore. You no longer need to feel that you have to die..." Komaeda/Hinata. Cover by 桐子. Pixiv ID 999828.


I was sitting on his abdomen. My fists tightly clenched the collar of his shirt. Tears tricked down my face and landed on his porcelain skin. I bit my lower lip, in a worthless attempt to hold them back, while I lost myself in those cloudy eyes.

Nothing made sense. But I did not care. I was stuck in that silent world. It was just me, and those eyes. I've begged so many times to see them at least once more.. And now that I had, I was shedding tears that had already been shed many, many nights in vain. I had made a promise to myself. I would leave aside all the hatred and anger that consumed me everyday, and would try, for real, to understand him.

Since I saw him for the alleged first time, I felt something different emanating from him. His words, his actions, his feelings, that is, if he had any, I couldn't understand. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was like having someone by my side, holding my hand, but they were really in a different galaxy. I wanted to know about his world. I wanted to enter it, to discover everything. To discover what was wrong, and try to fix it. To discover a way to reach out to him. To get him enter my world too.. However..

My mere thoughts were broken. Before, I'd gone to sleep holding his hand, and by morning I was completely alone. He vanished completely. It became clear to me that even time was different in our worlds. What was only the beginning for me, was more than the end for him.

It was as if his world was coated in glass, and I couldn't touch it. Never could I enter it and find out about his mysteries, what he hid and why he hid. Never would I discover which monster lived in the closet of his heart, tormenting him.

However, now was different. I was there, with him beneath me. Breathing. Looking at me with the same tender gaze as ever. He didn't care whether I hated him or if I'd give him a beating. He was always like that. Smiling at me...

"What happened, Hinata-kun ? Why are you crying..?"

I swallowed all those feelings and..

"Why.. Why you had to endure everything by yourself..?" I said, finally.

"Ah..hm.. Forgive me, Hinata-kun, but that was the only way.."

"Only way..!? N-no ! You had no right... And also..your death..was...the cruelest.. Why.. Why...?" A few more tears fell on his face.

"...Hinata-kun. You really are a wonderful person..." His face blushed slightly and he smiled.

"W-what are you talking about..? You tried to kill me too..!"

"I-I.. I-I never wanted to do that..!" He exclaimed. "..ah, Hinata-kun ! How I would have loved it if you were the traitor... Then I wouldn't of had to... B-but.. Hinata-kun would never do something like that, right ? Not even to such trash like me..."

"Why..!?" I shouted, shaking him fiercely and throwing him back to the floor. "Why do you say these things about yourself ?...?"

"Hm..? But..there's nothing wrong, right..? It's the truth.. Ahahah!"

"You _are _wrong...you're not like that.. You're not like any of these things you say about yourself... Nobody is like that, Komaeda.."

"Hm!? H-Hinata-kun d-doesn't see me like that...?" I had the impression he was beginning to tear up.

"..I don't know what to think about you. I just don't understand you..and I don't know why! But I would like to..I really would like to understand you, Komaeda... But you..." Those tenebrous images came to mind and shut me up once again. Him, in that condition..really took it out of me. Nobody, nobody in the world deserves to go through that...

"H-Hinata-kun wanted to understand me..." He muttered to himself. "...ah..! Ahahah...ah, I knew it... Hinata-kun is definitely a wonderful person..." He looked away from me, and his face became very red again.

"I-it's because of this that... I..." He squinted, with his gaze still far from me. "I love Hinata-kun..."

I felt my face burning. I would have never expected to hear this. I would have never expected to hear Komaeda saying he loved someone. Much less then, this someone was...me.

Suddenly, a terror filled his eyes. Something I never had seen before. Despair. He turned to me, his gaze set on mine. Tears started to wildly trickle down his face. I loosened my hands on his shirt.

"N-n-no... No..no..no...NO ! ! ! !" He yelled and then covered his face with his hands. Shivering.

"H-H-Hinata-kun, forgive me, forgive me... P-please, f-forgive me..." Between hiccups he said that, with a sincerity in his voice that I, once more, would not have expected to hear..

"K-Komaeda... What happened..!? Why are you saying this...?"

He rubbed his hands over his eyes, trying to remove the tears and the hair that gently fell over his face.

"..w-whenever something good happens...soon then...s-something bad also happens... T-that is...my curse..."

"..curse ?"

"It's a-always been so.." He smiled gloomily. "It's because of this that I don't care about dying... I don't like to feel pain, you know... But.." His voice trembled, as he looked deep into my eyes.

"I-I... Cannot allow... S-something bad..to happen..t-to H-Hinata-kun... I-I..." Tears and more tears continued to trickle down, and he covered his face again.

"...forgive me, H-Hinata-kun... I-I...I should never..n-never have talked about..about... M-my heart... Hurts... H-hurts too much... A-all this... I-I..."

Something broke within me. Listening to him say all these things. No. It was more than that. To know that he felt all those things.. And that at the same time, these feelings hurt him. This world hurt him. And... us also.

Without stopping to think, I let him go. I sat beside him, wrapped my arms around him, and pulled him against my body. I supported his head on my shoulder and embraced him.. I embraced him strongly, as if I'd never embraced anyone all my life.

"It's okay, Komaeda.. Nothing bad will happen to me... Nothing.. You don't need to suffer because of that.." I gently stroked his messy white hair. And it was incredibly...soft.

"H-H-Hinata-kun...?" His heart was beating wildly against my chest.

"Shh... It's okay.. Everything will be okay... Don't lose hope... It's not over yet, right...?"

I felt a few more cold tears trickle down my shoulder. He straightened his head, turning to the opposite side of me.

"Sure..." I felt a sense of relief in his voice.. "Thank you...Hinata-kun..."

After a few seconds in silence... The heart, that only moments before was beating strongly against my chest, was slowing and slowing until... it stopped.

It took me a moment to realise what was happening. I called his name repeatedly..but I got no response. I laid him back on the floor, lying down beside him, holding his hand.

There was a smile stuck on his face. The marks left by the tears seemed to be disappearing little by little... As there was no longer reason to be there.

* * *

The rain was dancing on the room's windows. It was cold. I felt the wind of dawn entering through my clothes and playing slightly with my hair. I tried to move my body. I got no response from one of my arms, due to... I opened my eyes.

Once more, I'd fallen asleep there. I'd forgotten how many times this repeated. I expected it though, since I'd spent almost the entire day in that room. Holding his right hand. And at the end of the day, I ended up falling asleep right there. Resting on the edge of the bed, supported by an arm, so I could sit in front of his sleeping face..

I straightened up. First thing to do was to check _that_ machine... Everything was normal. Each weak beat of his heart was being recorded there. Relief ran throughout my body. I then turned to the clock on the wall. Three thirty a.m.

I lent over his body, my face touching his. I swallowed and, with all the strength I had, held back all the feelings that were begging to leave through my eyes.. I didn't want him to know of my sadness regarding absolutely everything.. My despair, due to the _possibilities_... So I just whispered:

"Komaeda... Hey.. It's a new day already.. And it's raining.. Don't you like to listen to the rain..? ..."

I remembered about the dream I just had. I closed my eyes.

"You don't need to feel pain anymore, Komaeda. You no longer need to feel that you have to die..." I inhaled deeply, and exhaled.

"I won't let you die. So.. Please, open your eyes..."

I lightly touched my lips to his face. I stood up and went to the room's door. I looked behind, staring at him in his possibly eternal sleep.

"... Just for the last time..." I muttered to myself.

I dried the single tear on my face, and went to my room.


End file.
